What NOT to say when she mentions "stuffing"
We don’t have Thanksgiving on Zyan. I know of no planet that celebrates the eating of fowl, except Earth. From how my female rushes about, frantic to perfect every detail, I understand it is an important time for humans. This is why I write this note to my fellow warriors, especially those who have human females… or hope to. These are what you should Do and NEVER Do, when the female is preparing for this celebration.
DO NOT
When the female says the bird needs to get stuffed… DO NOT assume she’s talking about herself. I made this mistake. While this led to a rather intimate moment, my timing was not good… nor was the place I chose to stuff my female. There were… repercussions. This concept of stuffing, something she claims involves bread, continues to be particularly challenging because every time she mentions stuffing, my c*&^s rise. It’s not something I can control. I recommended slowly approaching the female from behind, touching her gently, gaging what she wishes… especially if the counters are full. Which leads to my next piece of advice:
DO
DO not shake your head as if your human female is talking nonsense when she talks of dressing the fowl. I still do not understand the concept. DO NOT question the worth of creating clothing or putting clothing on a fowl. Just nod as if you agree, and move on.
DO taste whatever foods the female prepares. You do not need to hide your surprise at the strange taste if she uses ingredients from Earth. We’ve all had this training, eating sustenance from planets and cultures that are very different from Zyan. Which is why you must remember your training. Food is food. If your human can eat it, then it will not kill you. Though I DO recommend carrying a small vial of osic to make Earth foods palatable. As for tasting your female… that goes without explanation. Human females are very…. receptive.
If your mating c*&^ rises for a human female:
Remember your training and you will be fine. Listen, observe, trust your instincts. If a human female is your heartmate, then you WILL find a way to make her yours, even if she fights you.
DO remember your goals, and that you are dealing with a female from a different culture, one that is rich with wonders and oddities. It can take time understanding your female. She deserves the time to understand you as well. If you are heartmates, the gods have brought you together for a reason. You will find a way past whatever might be keeping you from claiming one another. And this I know from experience.